How My Creativity – and Crystals – Led Me to Face My Fears

When I first began writing this piece I did not expect it to become this deep and meaningful dive into how to deal with fear. I set out wanting to share with you guys how my creativity in the last few weeks has shed light on to some fear and self doubt and then share the guidance the crystals had on the matter. The crystals had other plans however, and what I thought was going to be simple and light has been revealed to be much more meaningful than I could have ever imagined. With that being said, I am going to start at the beginning and share with you exactly how this experience shifted beyond my expectations.

In the past few weeks I have become addicted to making hemp bracelets. I have been creating and creating and creating all of the time. I am so in love with this feeling of creativity as it is so uplifting and expansive but this much creativity has left me with a mountain of bracelets. My intent has always been to share them with the world through an Etsy shop but I have found taking that step harder than I originally expected it to be. As I go through the process of listing all of my creations – a daunting feat considering the number of them – my desire to create just keeps getting stronger and stronger. The more I create the more I learn and the more my pieces express my growth.

This growth then makes me insecure about sharing my earlier creations. I wonder if I should even post them. What if people don’t like them? My ego has begun supplying me with a number of reasons why should not share my work, most of which circle back to me feeling like they aren’t perfect. I was afraid of pieces being received as sub-par in comparison to some of my others.

The more I thought about it, the more I realized that this fear went much deeper than just self-doubt. It was a deeper feeling that I knew had been there for a while and was holding me back from being my true self and stepping into what I am meant to  be doing.

It is a fear of being seen.

I am super confident behind a keyboard and in my writing and I think that is because I don’t have to experience first hand someone’s reaction to what I am saying. When I talk to someone in person or even put myself out there on social media in a more active way I am opening myself up to judgment and criticism. Now, I have been stepping out of my comfort zone in the last month and a half and have become more visible by posting more on social media and starting a video series on my Facebook page but I have still been struggling with reaching out to people personally.

When I talk to someone personally, more so in person than through text or email, my nerves and fear of judgement and criticism get the better of me and I lose my voice. I then feel like I am not representing myself well and I get frustrated with myself. After the fact I ask a lot of what if questions and dig a pretty deep hole of self-doubt for myself. So I find myself avoiding this type of interaction.

Thus, my creativity in the last couple of weeks has allowed me some reprieve from this fear, but now, as I start listing y work and stepping out into the open it is coming up again. Now, in order to move forward I had to do some work around this. Immediately after I made the decision to work with this fear my large Herkimer diamond came to mind to support me and as I prepared to sit and do the work my apophylite and stilbite combination also jumped out to help me.

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My large Herkimer diamond (left) and the apophylite/stilbite (right).

Both of these stone felt super high vibrational from the moment I picked them up and were more than ready to dive into the work. I got the sense that the Herkimer diamond was going to be speaking to my fear and that the apophylite/stilbite was going to speak to my creativity. I felt that both of the stone together were going to clear unwanted and unhelpful patterns from my energetic body. Before I had even picked them up to meditate I could feel the shift in my body. The stones had a lot more to say than I was expecting and not just about what I was going through, but about fear in general. Herkimer diamond started things off with this lecture:

“Your fear comes from a place deep inside you left mostly unexplored. Your mind skates over it in favor of more bright and shining places but it still lingers, silently weighing you down. 

When you give your fears a voice, when you let them express themselves two things can happen. 1) The fear can be released or 2) the fear can consume you. 

Despite how it might feel, you have control over both outcomes. This control comes from how you choose to receive your fear and is tied deeply to the stage you are at in your life. Your environment and outside influences can affect how you receive your fear. If you seek your fear before you have fully identified it you will find yourself surprised by it and slipping into option two. 

If you have steadily observed it, making note of when and where it appears in your life you are more likely to experience option one. 

This is not to say that one option is right and one option is wrong. You can learn a lot facing a fear before it is ready to be released. You  can gain insight into the birth of the fear, its growth and development through your current life or the lives of your ancestors. 

Each time you face the fear you learn more and more about it and the more you learn about it the less it consumes and controls you. The more you seek to understand it, the more it transforms from fear into motivation. You embrace it. It becomes a part of you and you find that you eventually end up at option one.”

Apophylite/stilbite jumped in right where the herkimer left off:

“When that fear is integrated you are given a direct line to your soul. Those moments after you have fully accepted a piece of yourself for exactly what it was are the pinnacle of peace. Bask in that energy, allow it to fully penetrate every cell in your body. Let it bring you visions of your future and of your past. Feel what it means to truly love yourself. Pay attention to your dreams and the people you attract into your life. Observe how accepting a piece of yourself has shifted your reality.”

For minutes after these messages came through I just sat and basked in the energy of these crystals. I held the apophylite/stilbite to my heart and felt shivers through my body as I thought about my fears. I felt the clarity of these crystals clearing the energy from my body. I do not believe that these fears are fully released and integrated but I do feel lighter and brighter and more joyful moving forward.

I also caught a glimpse of some other fears.

The key for me will be not to get discouraged by the appearance of more fears. It only means that I am growing, that I am moving through the lessons that my soul has to learn. This shift doesn’t happen overnight and I urge those of you that are facing your fears realize that it is okay to slip. It is okay to step back and take time to gather yourself.

That being said, I would highly recommend using crystals to help support you in this work. Even if you don’t have access to herkimer diamond or apophylite/stilbite I urge you to sit down with the stones that you do have and let them help you. Choose one stone to support you in facing your fears and another to help you sit in the vibration afterword. Remember that there is no right or wrong to this. Choose the stones that draw you to them.

Remember also that this is not necessarily a “one and done” exercise. I most definitely need to spend some more time sitting with this exercise and working through what presents itself to me. Take the time it takes. It’s about the journey.

As always, I would love to hear about any experiences you have in your own work with crystals and fear. The more I work with crystals the more I realized that they are so much more than just tools to be used. They are our guides through this work, sharing their energy to shift us into a better state of being. I am forever grateful to them for sharing their gifts with me and in turn allowing me to share them with you!

Namaste to you all! Until next time!

Emily

Supporting yourself through change with the help of crystals

For me, fall has always been the season that I experience the most change and this year was no different. As I look back on the past few months, I have noticed that crystals have played a major role in both catalyzing and supporting me through the change. I haven’t quite figured out how to roll with the punches yet so when change comes I am almost always thrown for a loop.

It all started with a crystal healing I had done on myself because I had been feeling very tired and frustrated. The session focused on my closed throat chakra and relieving the heavy emotions that were weighing on my heart. In my work on my heart I saw the image of a suitcase going around and around on an airport carousel and got the message that I needed to break the pattern that was causing the emotions to get trapped in my heart. I felt very raw and tired after the session. I felt as if, while I didn’t get very much in the way of messages, the session was very energetically intense.

The next day I found myself breaking out of a pattern of emotional turmoil and stress that I had been stuck in for years but had become more intense over the summer. I had reached the point where I was pushed to far and couldn’t put off making a change any longer.  It was a very difficult and emotional experience as I had been in this pattern for a very long time. Breaking it required me to speak up and stand up for myself in a very confrontational situation and as a result leave behind a place that had been an integral part of my childhood.

Over the next week I felt a lot of different emotions: anger at how I had been treated, fear of what was to come, sadness for what I was leaving behind, and most surprisingly hurt. I found myself reaching for the support of my crystals in a more focused and direct way than I have in the past.

One week after the confrontation I pulled stones for another healing session as I found myself needing more support than I was able to give myself on my own. Instead of a session I found myself using these stones to create a crystal grid.

When I got the inspiration for this post and started to research stones to support change I found that I had intuitively picked a lot of the relevant stones for this grid. The grid contained herkimer diamonds and jet both of which help with fear, magnetite which reduces over attachment leading to clearer energy,  and prehnite as the center stone which helps to release old feelings and move on in life.

This leads me to my first official recommendation: go with what you are attracted to. Crystals are incredibly good at showing up just when you need them. Even if you think you are just choosing a crystal because it is pretty  when you do more work with the crystal or do some research you will often find that you have chosen just the right one to help you through a certain situation.

That being said here are a few more of my go to stones for support during periods of change.

For help soothing emotions that result from breaking patterns I recommend blue apatite and moonstone. For many nights during the first week after the confrontation I fell asleep holding blue apatite and moonstone was one of the stones that I used in the healing session that acted as the catalyst of this change.  Moonstone is also helpful for fear as are jet and herkimer diamond as I mentioned earlier. Jet is one of my favorite stones. I find that it has a very soft and soothing energy that uplifts and grounds you at the same time.

If you find yourself grieving for what you have lost try Apache tear and amethyst.

Support yourself by taking the time to sit with these stones and feel the energy flowing through you body or take the time to build a grid to hold space for you even when you are not home. You can also wear the stones in jewelry or carry them in your pocket or bra. Where ever they are know that the energy of your stones will always be there for you.